Rough Night

Last night didn’t go as well as I would have liked. I wore a new pair of jeans to work that dyed my legs blue (even after pre-washing and having worn them previously), I got eaten up by mosquitoes, I didn’t sleep well, and this morning I was woken up by someone calling the wrong number at 8:30 am (only five hours after I got to bed at all). Needless to say, today is not starting off well, either. I’m tired, I’m itchy, and I am slightly blue-ish in skin tone where it didn’t fully wash off, yet.

I’m also falling back into a lot of anxiety in regards to money, work, and things I feel obligated to do. I spoke to a manager last night about the possibility of being moved to day shift. It was partially so that I can have a more normalized schedule, but it was also because my department is being absorbed into another one and there aren’t extra hours to be given out. I’m not currently making enough to pay all my bills and expenses and my lifelines just ran out. The times I’ve been asked to stay longer were what made it so I could make enough money to get through any given month.

So, the debate my brain is going through is “how am I going to pay my bills?” and then trying to navigate the pros, cons, and obstacles of the answers I’m coming up with. I’ve already talked to supervisors about getting more hours and that didn’t work out. The hours available to my department are being cut. I’ve talked to my supervisor about moving to a different department that might have more available hours. I’m waiting on a response. The department we spoke about specifically might include a small raise, so there is that possibility on the table.

More to ponder upon tomorrow. At the moment I’m headed for work. As for my one nice thing? My mom had prepaid for a haircut for me and I finally was able to go get it. So much less weight! My headaches are already going away and I feel like I look nice. 

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